Capo Valley fell to Esperanza, which cost me my priceless Party Time Pop Star Hannah Montana guitar clock, and Servite was defeated by Edison, costing me Thor’s hammer. Obviously, the stakes are high in OCVarsity Pickapalooza Deathmatches and I can’t afford to continue having the Los Art and Memorabilia Collection plundered. It’s time for me to start doing the plundering once again.
This is a decisive week in OCVarsity Pickapalooza Deathmatch history, so I decided to target my arch nemesis. That’s right, this week I will take on OCVarsity’s Damian Calhoun, the man behind “The Calhoun Countdown.”
Luke Skywalker had Darth Vader, Daniel Larusso had Johnny Lawrence, Batman had The Joker, the Roadrunner had Wile E. Coyote, Coke had Pepsi, Sean Archer had Castor Troy, Neo had Agent Smith, Beatrix Kiddo vs. Bill, and I have D.C.
This bitter blood feud shall be settled as all bitter blood feuds are settled … in the OCVarsity Pickapalooza Deathmatch Octagon. This week’s OCVarsity Pickapalooza Deathmatch game is Bolsa Grande at Ocean View on Friday at 7 p.m.
D.C. has chosen to go with Ocean View. Ocean View started off the season with losses to Calvary Chapel, 14-7, and Estancia, 45-0, before beating Cerritos, 49-0, last week to get in the win column. Nathan Kwon had 173 yards and two touchdowns on 14 carries for the Seahawks in the victory over Cerritos.
I’m going with the Bolsa Grande Matadors. Bolsa Grande was 0-20 before Simon Fuentes took over as the head coach in 2011. Bolsa Grande went 4-6 in Fuentes’ first season and the Matadors are 1-2 so far this season. The Matadors were overmatched against Laguna Beach in their season opener, but they bounced back with a dramatic 35-32 victory over Saddleback in their next game. Last week, Bolsa Grande lost a 36-33 heartbreaker to Century. Michael Marquez and Jarrod Feuer lead a rushing attack that is averaging 161.3 rushing yards per game. Coach Fuentes is doing a great job in getting the Matadors to believe in themselves.
I’m channelling the spiritual and warrior powers of the UFC’s Diego “The Nightmare” Sanchez in this OCVarsity Pickapalooza Deathmatch. I’m putting my Diego “The Nightmare” Sanchez action figure and D.C. is putting his “Iron” Mike Bison doll on the line. I don’t trust D.C. to hold on to my Diego “The Nightmare” Sanchez action figure and his “Iron” Mike Bison doll, so Number Two, aka Brian Patterson the Commander William T. Riker of the OCVarsity universe, will be the holder for this OCVarsity Pickapalooza Deathmatch.
I am D.C.’s reckoning. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!
In this week’s OCVarsity Pickapalooza Deathmatch, I’m gonna have to go “Independence Day” on D.C. Check it out: