In the OCVarsity universe, Todd Harmonson is the big boss. Harmonson is the Captain Jean-Luc Picard of OCVarsity and Brian Patterson is his Number Two or Commander William T. Riker.
Number Two called me last week and said he wanted me to do a new weekly feature for OCVarsity. He wanted to call it “The Arias Factor.”
Immediately, I started thinking he wanted me to host a show where I made people eat maggots and Rocky Mountain oysters and jump off of buildings into a small pool ala “Fear Factor.”
That wasn’t what Number Two was thinking.
Number Two said he wanted “The Arias Factor” to be my thoughts on O.C. football heading into each week. Number Two said we already had the Xs and Os covered with “Fryer on Football” and the “Calhoun Countdown,” so he wanted me to basically have the freedom to go in any direction I wanted to go. That sounded like an interesting proposition, so I accepted the assignment.
If you are a regular OCVarsity visitor, I’m sure you caught our awesome Kickoff 2012 coverage and all of our preseason previews. We had lists for top defensive linemen, top wide receivers, top running backs, top offensive linemen, top defensive backs, top linebackers, top quarterbacks and Dan Albano’s OC Hot 100 players list.
But there was one list of players that was noticeably absent from our Kickoff 2012 coverage, and I will use the debut of “The Arias Factor” to rectify that problem.
We forgot to put together our top 10 list of OC players you want on your team in a Zombie Apocalypse. I guess we’ll call it the All-OCVarsity Zombie Apocalypse Team.
Obviously, I’m having “The Walking Dead” withdrawals. Season 3 premieres next month, and I have to find out what is going to happen to the group under the Ricktatorship. Katana sword-wielding Micchone finally joins in on the Zombie-killing mayhem. The Governor might go down as one of the most evil villains in TV history if they stay true to the books. I’m geeking out.
But back to the All-OCVarsity Zombie Apocalypse team …
After the recent earthquakes in L.A., I made sure to check my closet to make sure my Zombie Apocalypse survival kit, err, earthquake survival kit was stocked and ready in case disaster strikes. Of course, it was. I’m ready if this thing goes down. But that got me to thinking which O.C. football players would I want in my group if we ended up in a Zombie Apocalypse.
Santa Margarita quarterback Johnny Stanton was the first player to come to mind. He is a dual threat with his arm, speed and power. He’s a born leader and he’s cool under pressure. We’re going to need Stanton if we get cornered by a throng of Zombies. He can think on his feet and he’s a winner.
Tustin linebacker/fullback Ed Tandy would be another perfect fit. Sometimes in a Zombie Apocalypse your shelter gets overrun by Zombies and you have to make a run for it. But while you are on the run you have to have guys that can take down 20 and 30 Zombies at a time. I know I could hand Tandy a hammer or a machete and he would kick some Zombie butt.
Tesoro defensive tackle Chazz Roberts is great at blindsiding quarterbacks or overwhelming offensive linemen and wreaking havoc in the backfield. I know Roberts would be able to take down multiple Zombies without giving away our position.
This group definitely needs somebody who is fearless and relentless in the face of overwhelming odds. I believe Mission Viejo safety/wide receiver Max Redfield is the man for the job. Redfield has that kind of athletic ability and he delivers the kind of crushing hits we’ll need if we run out of bullets or we don’t have any weapons. Redfield is a lethal weapon.
I’m not very fast, so I’m going to need some protection. That’s where San Clemente offensive tackle/defensive tackle Sean Harlow steps in. Harlow is a big, bad dude on the football field, and I’m sure that would transfer to excellent Zombie Apocalypse survival skills. And Harlow is super strong. In a Zombie Apocalypse the roads and freeways would be littered with abandoned vehicles. Harlow would be able to clear the road for us with ease.
The group in The Walking Dead has Glenn, who goes on solo scavenging missions into the city to find food, medicine and other things to keep the group going. Glenn is fast and can handle himself in a tight situation. That’s where speedy running back Drake Martinez of Laguna Beach fits in. Martinez has the speed and moves to get through a mission unbitten.
Every group that hopes to stay alive in a Zombie Apocalypse needs a sniper. Sometimes you need to do some Zombie killing from long range, and El Toro quarterback Conner Manning knows how to do that with his accurate and powerful arm. I’m sure I can hand him a sniper rifle and he could pick off Zombies with ease. If we run out of bullets, he can throw perfect spirals to take out Zombies with football head shots. Manning can also run our no-huddle, Zombie-killing offense.
Let me know which O.C. players you think deserve to be on the All-OCVarsity Zombie Apocalypse Team in the comments field below.
Here are some random thoughts and factors heading into Week 3:
Is Buena Park running back Deven Boston for real?
Deven Boston has rushed for a county-leading 824 yards and 14 touchdowns on 59 carries. Those aren’t Madden ‘13 stats. He put up those numbers in three real-life games. Thursday Night Football Madness will be emanating from Buena Park High this week, so I will get my first look at Boston when the Coyotes play host to undefeated JSerra, another talented young team that I’m looking forward to seeing.
Do Johnny Stanton and Ryan Wolpin still play for the defending state champs?
The answer is yes, and I can’t wait to see Santa Margarita vs. Carson on Friday night at Saddleback College. Stanton isn’t the kind of quarterback that scrambles and then slides feet first for first downs. Stanton looks for people to hit. That’s my kind of QB. Wolpin is one of the most explosive backs in the county. Carson is loaded with speedy skill players and should be a good test for the Eagles.
San Clemente plays at La Costa Canyon on Friday … NOOOOOOOO!!!
No Triton Tacos, no Triton Tri-Tip and no Le Pom Pom Cafe. I’m doomed. Wait a minute … My man, Steve Herman, just emailed to say Buena Park’s snack bar is going to step up its game this week. I hear the Buena Park snack bar is already in playoff form.
Trinity vs. Sunset Slobberknocker.
Edison’s offense is still trying to find its rhythm, but the Chargers are playing a mean brand of defense this season. The Chargers are fast and physical. Servite is known for its physical style on defense. This should be another great chapter in the Edison-Servite rivalry. I took Servite in this week’s OCVarsity Pickapalooza Deathmatch. Will anyone from Edison step up to accept my challenge?
You can’t stop Mr. FryDay Night, you can only hope to contain him.
Mr. FryDay Night set up OCVarsity’s FryDay Night Mobile Headquarters at Yorba Linda High last week for the Esperanza-Capistrano Valley game. Apparently, he was either hacked by Anonymous or he just couldn’t get a signal in the hills of Yorba Linda. Mr. FryDay Night was quick to act. He didn’t let the OCVarsity universe down. He packed up OCVarsity’s FryDay Night Mobile Headquarters and got to Santa Ana Stadium in time to pick up the second half of Mater Dei-Carson game, giving updates for the rest of the games from around the county.
Will O.C. football fans step up this week?
Being a lifelong, die-hard Raiders fan I know a little something about fanatics. That’s right, I wear a Darth Vader helmet when I watch Raider games. I want to know which school has the most fanatical fans. I’m talking face paint, superhero gear, body armor, props, etc. Send your photos to me on Twitter @LosOCVarsity and we will feature the best ones next week in “The Arias Factor.” Oh yeah, don’t forget to send me photographic proof of any Bigfoot sightings at Tesoro High. Sasquatch has eluded me for far too long over at Tesoro High.
Follow me on Twitter @LosOCVarsity.
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