Steven Seagal is an action film star, producer, writer, martial artist, guitarist and reserve deputy sheriff. Basically, he is an awesome dude. How do we know he is an awesome dude? Because he tells everybody how awesome he is … all the time.
There’s a legendary Hollywood story about Steven Seagal.
“I just read the greatest script I’ve ever read in my entire life,” Seagal tells a room of writers.
“Who wrote it?” a screen writer asked.
“I did,” Seagal responded.
That is the awesomeness of Steven Seagal in a nutshell.
Steven Seagal makes awesome reality TV shows like A&E’s “Steven Seagal: Lawman” where he uses his vast experience as a former CIA agent and lifelong student of the martial arts to subdue criminals in New Orleans.
“You know, being a lifelong practitioner of the martial arts, I try to teach everyone not to fight the recoil of the weapon but more to become one with the weapon and let it be an extension of their body,” Seagal once said on the show.
Steven Seagal is awesome at Aikido. A world-renowned 7th-dan black belt in Aikido, Seagal has taken credit for teaching UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva the brutal front kick he landed on Vitor Belfort’s jaw that gave him a first-round KO at UFC 134.
He also took credit for teaching Lyoto Machida the jumping front kick he used to KO Randy Couture at UFC 129.
What does Steven Seagal’s awesomeness have to do with Thursday Night Football Madness? Well, because Steven Seagal is a Buena Park High graduate.
Why do I believe Steven Seagal is taking credit for the Coyotes’ 2-0 start? Why do I believe Steven Seagal will claim to have taught Deven Boston to be an awesome running back? Why do I believe Steven Seagal is the reason behind the offensive explosion at Buena Park where the Coyotes are averaging 54.5 points per game?
The answer: Because Steven Seagal is that awesome. If the man that created awesome 1990s action flicks such as “Above the Law,” “Hard to Kill,” “Out for Justice,” “Marked for Death,” “Under Siege” and “Under Siege 2: Dark Territory” says it’s true, it’s true.
Here are some more pearls of wisdom from the awesome Steven Seagal:
“I was born with a serious spiritual consciousness and for many years studied different paths.”
“I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol.”
“My CIA godfather told me he’d never heard any American speak Japanese so well.”
“I can be very quiet. I’ll just go somewhere and I’ll sit off in a corner and people will call me arrogant. I’m not arrogant, I’m just shy like you, and I think the martial arts helped give me a lot of confidence, a lot of self esteem, and helped teach me respect for myself. You try to conquer yourself. You try to master yourself.”
“A lot of people know me as an actor. But I’ve been playing the blues my whole life. … (Sliding into cajun accent) We fittin’ to do a kawn-cert tah benefit the children’s hospital here, in Naw’leans. I love children. People who love me and know me know that.”
Game of the night: Villa Park vs. Edison at Huntington Beach, 7 p.m.
Why you should care: The Chargers and Spartans, ranked No. 2 and No. 4, respectively, in the Southwest Division, collide in this highly-anticipated nonleague showdown.
The Chargers picked up a 24-0 victory over Garfield of L.A. in a lackluster season-opening effort last week. But there were some bright spots for Edison. Aleksander Torgensen passed for 245 yards and three TDs and WR Jeremy Maxwell had three catches for 127 yards and two TDs. The explosive capability is there for the Chargers.
Villa Park is 2-0 with tough victories over Righetti of Santa Maria, 28-21, and Valencia, 24-7. Meki Tafuna is among the county’s leading rushers with 307 yards and six TDs on 50 carries. Tafuna is also a force on defense at linebacker.
ALSO ON THE THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL MADNESS AGENDA:
Irvine vs. Santa Ana Valley at Santa Ana Stadium, 7 p.m.: The Falcons pulled out a 27-24 victory over Beckman last week to improve to 2-0. Can the Falcons knock off another Pacific Coast League team ranked in the Southern Division top 10?
Laguna Hills vs. Northwood at Irvine High, 7 p.m.: The Hawks knocked off defending Southern Division-champion Corona del Mar last week and they are looking to make the T-Wolves their second straight PCL victim.
Buena Park vs. Magnolia at Glover Stadium, 7 p.m.: The Coyotes are averaging 367.0 rushing yards and 54.5 points per game and Magnolia gave up 62 points last week against Huntington Beach. CAPTAIN OBVIOUS ALERT>>>>>This one could get ugly.
Long Beach Wilson at Tustin, 7 p.m.: DaVonte Young, Terrance Martinez and Edward Tandy are helping the Tillers’ mighty double-wing offense average 433.5 rushing yards per game and they should pile up even more against the Bruins, who have allowed 67 points in two games.
Hart vs. Kennedy at Western High, 7 p.m.: After losing a 10-7 battle to Tesoro in the final minutes last week, the Indians will take out their frustrations on back-to-back OC road trips on the Fighting Irish.
Corona vs. Fountain Valley at Westminster High, 7 p.m.: The Barons showed off their big-play capability last week to knock off Dana Hills and they hope to keep the momentum going against the Cougars.
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Check out Steven Seagal in all of his awesome glory: