I wanna be like Mike.

I’m not talking about Michael Jordan, even though I loved the Gatorade slogan from the ’90s that featured M.J.

I’m not talking about former SNL alum and Austin Powers superstar Mike Myers.

You know who I am talking about. I’m talking about the one and only slasher flick icon, Michael Myers.

Usually I don’t advocate using a psychotic mass murderer as a role model, but let’s look at Michael Myers’ good qualities, especially, on Halloween.

Let’s not dwell on his horrible character flaws. I mean he did dress up like a clown and stab his sister to death as a 6-year-old. That landed him a stay in an insane asylum. He escaped and terrorized Haddonfield, Ill., with numerous murder sprees.

Forget all that stuff. Let’s get to his good qualities that football players throughout the county can use as inspiration to make themselves into better players. Dare we say great players?

Michael Myers is unstoppable and has great conditioning. He has been shot, stabbed, meat-cleavered, lit on fire, blown up and he just keeps coming. You have to give him props on his cardio and ability to take a shot, literally, and keep coming.

Michael Myers is not a quitter. He never gives up. Once he gets his mind set on something he goes after it with a single-minded focus.

Michael Myers doesn’t talk any trash. As a matter of fact he doesn’t talk at all, but he doesn’t flaunt his victories or showboat. He just takes care of business.

OCVarsity Slasher Fantasy League Lottery Picks

• 1. Michael Myers - Forget Mike Tyson, this dude is the baddest man on the planet.
• 2. Jason Voorhies - Hockey mask, machete, incredible recuperative powers … need we say more.
• 3. Freddy Krueger - This right-hander can bring it with his metal-clawed leather glove and he absolutely smashes dreams.
• 4. Jigsaw - This guy brings more torture than a 15-play (all on the ground), 95-yard drive by Tustin.
• 5. Chucky - Agility, quickness, overall freakiness and killer instinct.

O.C. football teams should keep Michael Myers’ work ethic, drive and desire in mind when they take to the gridiron tonight.

So in honor of Double-M and in honor of Halloween, we salute you.

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